In anticipation of traveling to Guatemala, I’m trying to get myself into bargaining mode. I have to do this because I am the world’s worst haggler. Offer me something for $5, I’ll pay $8 for it. Put a cute kid in front of me and it’s all over. This drives my spouse, the world’s best and most unemotional bargainer, completely nuts. It doesn’t matter how inexpensive the item the child is selling, he asks for a lower price.
I, on the other hand, offer an amount which is the selling price plus my “empathy quotient,” based on how much I envision the money meaning to the child’s family and how much I would hate having to go out and haggle with tourists if I were that kid. Then I add more money simply because I’m a wimp. Any ten-year-old Guatemalan kid holds great power over me. Then the word spreads that he has a “fish on the line.” His friends show up. They laugh. They give each other high-fives. It doesn’t matter, I can’t say no. Last time I was there, a little girl asked me to buy some dolls. I said I didn’t need them. She said, “Buy them for your friends.” I told her I didn’t have any friends. She said, “For your enemies.” I told her I’d take two because she was funny.
So, if you see someone walking around Minnesota in winter wearing an embroidered blouse, sandals and carrying dolls, you’ll know it’s me.